From The Other Side

As the steel door slams shut

it echoes of this places sorrow

and my anger begins to reveal

it might be some time before I see tomorrow.

Fighting myself to find someone to blame

my guilt becomes a furious rage

how did I end up here again

what will come with the turn of the next page?

Despair setting into my heart

as these concrete walls begin to close me in

helplessness becoming conscious

of the whirlwind of pain within.

Don't quite know how it started

but know very well how it comes to an end

after all things good dissipate

isolation becomes my only friend.

Bitterness rising in me like a fire

I want to scream, fight, and cry

how did I end up here again

where claustrophobia clouds the mind.

Trying to overcome my pain

my solitude becomes a horrible toil

and every time I close my eyes

my life's blood begins to boil.

How did I end up here again

and will my violent tendencies subside

because I want to spend the rest of my life

looking at these walls from the otherside.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Mail Call

Another night without any mail,

it's starting to feel as if no one cares.

In here all on my own,

hoping someone picks up the phone.

What happened to all who were so close,

the ones that said "I'll miss you the most"?

If that's how they feel, I can't tell,

I only want to know if they are well.

I guess I am asking to much,

for them to show a little love.

But I'm alright and it's okay,

When I get out it will remain the same way.

Only I'll be the one who doesn't care,

and they'll wonder why I'm being unfair.

That's when I'll let them know the pain it caused,

Not to get a letter from them while behind bars.

Written in Mayo Correctional Institution.

Happy

Smiles on their faces

Held hands and shared laughs

Steps kept at the same pace

Where do they go

It's there I want to see

Soft pillows at night

Gentle breeze upon the nape

Two stars burning bright

Under the cover of night

I am sure this is where I want to be

Rolling waves on the water

Rivers flowing oh so smooth

Sometimes a tender rain

This I feel I need

Only my cards are solitary

My hands they hold each other

The head rest is abandoned

and my boat has sunk

Now I just drowned.

Whisper

Break the silence

Raining June night

Breeze in the trees

A full moons flight

Whisper a lovely tune

In the ear of love

Dreams come true

Wished upon stars above.

Opened for Her

She has taken my heart,

overthrown all that was once there.

Did I ever really know love,

before meeting with her stare?

She knows me inch by inch,

yet we haven't been a mile.

In my heart I have a ringing,

because my number she has dialed.

It's like the words she speaks,

are the thoughts in my head.

I wonder how she got in there,

speaking what my thoughts have said.

Her touch I cannot explain,

power to move my flesh.

At the very tip of her fingers,

where my weakness now rests.

So it is in her presence,

that all past heartache is healed.

My heart now becomes opened,

as she takes position on the field.

Dedicated to Lisa Lynch

 

The Rebirth of Love

Her voice like the wind,

whispered in my ear.

All the lonely feelings,

gone with a single tear.

She tells me of her love,

for me she has found.

Her hand touching my cheek,

a tear full of sound.

How could she find love,

in one who knows not.

What is it she sees,

other than what is shot.

How do I tell her,

I want to return love?

Yet, selfishness consumes,

this heart full of lust.

Doe's she understand,

my heart longs to give?

A love I never knew,

the kind I see her live.

This tear she has wiped,

was so close to my heart.

Her love shinning light

where I had grown dark.

Dedicated to Lisa Lynch

2007

 

Yesterday's Struggle, Today's Strength

Broken and shattered dreams aren’t easily fixed

The speed of life finding the next fix

Laughs, drama and dirt in moments past

The blink of an eye how long they last

Struggles seem so very small, petty, and cold

Until they take every thing you so dearly hold

So my struggle turns to motivation

Like the cry of a beaten but not forgotten nation

Memories of fallen soldiers sway in the midst

Keeping me sharp to this life’s twists

No more pain my heart can bear

Learning in my grief I have something to share

Pieces of that life continue to ebb away

Replaced with strength for each new day

Looking to the clouds and where they roam

Being viewed by those who’ve gone home.

Words of Destruction

Words that contain powerful meanings

mixed with the wrong emotions and feelings

can become dangerous weapons of war,

When filled with anger and hate

words fuel a vicious debate

and love soon walks out the door.

Now your really in a battle

the relationship now in the sattle

but words continue to cause pain,

and as the fight goes on

destroying all that was strong

the words become untamed.

Now cutting wounds so deep

her tears begin to seep

out of eyes that once had a loving glare,

but the damage has already been done

and this war nobody has won

because the words cause pain of equal share.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

She Comes Apart

Fragile becomes her eyes

her emotion is despise

and her heart a thousand pieces,

She can't find the reason why

to her were told so many lies

as if the truth was always needless.

Inside she feels like a thunderous sky

she can give a thousand reasons to die

because her sunshine is becoming ceaseless,

She can't control the fire inside

her pain is just to much to hide

as tears begin filling all her creases.

Her sorrow she can no longer deny

once loved has now passed her by

and her life is falling to pieces.

written from Mayo Correctional Institution

 

Endless Eyes

Caught in the glimmer of her eyes

visions of stars and where they fly

to late not to be taken in,

So deep the ocean has no clue

Doesn't matter brown or blue

Brown looks to win.

It is time that knows no bounds

in her eyes is where it is always found

forever in her lights,

I always want to never look away

without a word her eyes begin to say

"Give up without a fight."

Before this night is over I will lose

as intimacy is the only touch that soothes

the heat is on the rise,

As the words begin to gently slip

her lips meet mine for a little sip

staring into endless eyes.

Dedicated to Lisa Marie Lynch

Do Memories Really Fade?

Do memories really fade,

do they wash away?

Will my memories of you &I,

be taken off of this replay?

Do memories really fade,

like the setting of the sun?

Will thoughts of you disappear,

with each new day begun?

Do memories really fade,

like a horizon off the coast?

Pictures of you in my head,

becoming the forgotten ghost.

Do memories really fade,

like a bulb about to blow?

The times in-between us,

becoming a dampened glow.

Do memories really fade,

like a song coming to an end?

Because in my head are memories of you,

making it hard for my heart to mend.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

The Venus Fly Trap

There was a little fly

Who had a dream to die

he didn't want to go

but he had to say good-bye.

So he got caught up in the trap

and the Venus closed with a snap

now this little fly

he won't be coming back

Venus has him in her clutch

with her soft seductive touch

this poor little fly

his life is what she sucks.

She won't be letting go

until his blood has ran cold

now this little fly

his eyes begin to close.

There was a little fly

who had a dream to die

yet, when his dream came true

he was found between her thighs.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Who Will Be There?

Who will be there,

will they cry?

Who will be there,

to say good-bye?

 

Who will be there,

to hold my mother's hand?

Who will be there,

telling her she raised a man?

Who will be there,

to remember the past?

Who will be there,

talking good times and laughs?

Who will be there,

to see the tossing of the dirt?

Who will be there,

to see me back to the earth?

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Storm of the Century "04"

Black clouds roll in

as it begins to get dark.

There is going to be a bad storm,

in my head is where it starts.

First a flash of lightning,

that the bravest man fears.

Then the resonant sound of thunder,

that brings deafness to my ears.

As it begins to rain harder and harder,

I get a distorted vision.

As fast as the wind changes direction,

my mind changes decisions.

A storm that destroys everything in it's path,

You could say it's a hurricane.

Paths uncontrollable and unpredictable,

a storm no man can contain.

Destruction and mayhem,

are all that's left behind.

This storm's name was Love,

and the devastation is left on my mind.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution 

P.A.S.T.

How can I let go of yesterday,

and grab onto tomorrow?

With memories full of pain,

it hurts with every swallow.

How do I just give it up,

or is it I just give in?

The feeling of agony,

burning deep within.

Feeling as if there is no end,

to the suffering I feel inside.

Only if I could get away,

find a dark place to try and hide.

If only there was relief,

if I could only shed tears.

My eyes dried up long ago,

so tears haven't dropped for years.

I guess I'll just keep going on,

enjoying this lonesome torturing.

Because tomorrow will always come,

but I'm afraid it won't change a thing.

Painful, Agony, of Suffering, & Torture

P.A.S.T.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Frozen in Time

As my time stands still,

their lives continue on.

My thoughts of them remain,

their thoughts of me gone.

As my time stands still,

I hold a love I once knew.

though it has let me go,

I continue to stay true.

As my time stands still,

this pain continues to grow.

The shadow of who I was,

over the person I want to know.

As my time stands still,

tomorrows pass me by.

Only memories of yesterdays,

flooding my searching mind.

As my time stands still,

I build off of my pain.

When My time begins to move,

I will not know this pain again.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Burial Plan

I will put him to death,

The I that was me.

I'm digging him a grave,

in it he will soon be.

For we both cannot dwell,

in existence as one.

Six feet under he must go,

So I'll see the job done.

I shape the coffin to it's size,

preparing it to be filled.

When I lay him to rest,

His coffin will be sealed.

Into the ground he will go,

without a second thought.

Then what I've waited for,

The dirt finally to be tossed.

No grave stone I will place,

No last words to be said.

I will turn and walk away,

and leave the old man dead.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Time

Time, nothing but a subtle breeze

Gently sifting these chain link trees

Every minute passing in the wind

Leading to the hour of my end

The breeze free to go to and fro

Unlike I reaping what I sow

In my ear whispers the wind does

Not about who I am, but who I was

Time, Time passing away

Watching for the close of each day

As my final breath blows into the breeze

Time, a swift gust of memories.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Distance

Can you feel it?

Because it's tearing me apart.

If only you could see,

the damage done to my heart.

Once being so close,

our hearts having the same trajectory.

Knowing your whole body,

my own personal topography.

Now it's all gone,

 and there's only empty space.

An effigy of our relationship,

is all that's left in it's place.

A void that can not be filled,

a gap never to be closed.

Trying to ignore the coldness,

as our seperation is exposed.

An interruption of love,

that has left us disconnected.

Hearts left in desolation,

from the pain we've subjected.

Now there is just one more thing,

something unaccountable you see.

Do you ever think of the distance,

that has parted you and me?

written in Mayo Correctional Institution

 

"Fatherless" by Propaganda

She Haunts Me

Why do you haunt me so

in my dreams where I cannot let you go

my every thought you have taken captive,

I think of you days on end

Now it's into my dreams you asend

and my insomnia becoming massive.

I don't want to fall into a stage of slumber

where your voice echos like thunder

in my dreams is where you reign,

You once ruled my daily life

but now the tormentor of my nights

as thoughts of you consume my brain.

Why have you become the ghost in my dreams

stretching my sanity to it's seams 

torturing every realm of my mind,

My thoughts are no longer my own

because in my dreams is where you roam

and there is so much pain left behind.

All I want is to dream in peace

but my thoughts of you will not cease

as my eyes begin to close,

You could have haunted anyone else

and left me by myself

why is it my dreams you chose?

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Double Mirror

It's hard for me to look in a mirror,

image is a funny thing... you see.

Reflection of who I am : Hate, addiction, Lies,

 Lust, envy, and greed: It looks like me.

What if I'm looking in the wrong Mirror

and it's all a big trick?

The enemy is the father of lies

Self-destruction is what he would want me to think.

So what if I turn my eyes to the Lord,

for an reflection of another kind?

Love, Patience, Gentleness, and honesty,

Now there's an image I want to be mine.

I must stay with the reflection of the Lord,

To rid myself of this vanity.

Stop looking in the enemies mirror,

because it's trying to steal my sanity

.

The Lord's reflection is the one I want for my life,

a reflection of beauty crystal clear.

So when the enemy tries to trick me by switching mirrors,

It will be all I can do to laugh at him without any fear.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

Farewell Disguise

In my life I have hid behind my disguise,

not wanting any to know who was I,

and if I could replay the not so wise,

you would know how deep the problem lies.

Underneath a surface so cold,

there is always a story to be told,

of one who's afraid to step into the fold,

trusting in something he cannot hold.

Although faith is made by the step,

and trusting is how promises are kept,

finding I would never be left,

I removed my disguise to show the rest.

Here I stand face to face,

I've moved around but never changed place,

but now I'm ready to open my case,

it may be too soon but better than too late.

Now here I stand in front of you,

It's your decision on what you do,

you can walk away if you choose,

or love me for who I've changed into.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution

 

A Setting Sun

I saw the sun go down today,

a sight I saw many times before.

This time it was all brand new,

for I know not what tomorrow has in store.

Sometimes the things we are facing,

have consequences we cannot see.

As the sun goes down on today,

tomorrow we may not be.

We may wish upon second chances,

or to turn back the hands of time.

Yet, as the light fades to darkness,

we cannot change the things we leave behind.

We know not if we are fortunate enough,

to be able to see the next sunrise.

That's just the chance we take,

every time we close our eyes.

So the things we do today,

may affect the tomorrows we see.

And if you watch the next sunset,

you may cherish it just like me.

Written from Mayo Correctional Institution.

My Name is Brian

Walking alone, along this street

 worn and torn, my soar feet

 the dirt of days covers my face,

The places I have been long ago

 look the same on every road

 it's like I never really changed place.

Under the stars my somber bed

 Mother natures bosom I rest my head

 and no one even knows my name,

 

My dinner you have thrown away

 it is in the same place every day

 and yet, you look upon me with shame?

Everyday lives just pass me on by

 not wanting to know who am I

 after all, I don't really even exist,

 

It is as if when I approach

 a golf ball falls down your throat

 and blind ignorance you must insist.

You think I always want your money

 that's when you begin to look funny

 I can tell when you start shy'n,

 

There is no thought to extend a hand

 shake like man to man

 "Hi, my name is Bryan".

Dedicated to a man named Bryan that I met on 8/9/07.

 He was digging threw the trash at McDonalds.

 I bought him a meal, He told me his name was

     BRYAN

Relentless Night: Restless Night 2

Your voice a whisper in the night,

tossing and turning from left to right,

Listening in hopes to hear Your word.

My eyes flutter like butterflies,

my mind racing with the question why,

Oh' how this all seems so upsurd.

Why have You stirred me to be awake,

answer my prayer for goodness sake,

Your Presence weighing heavy on my soul.

Praying for the friend I have lost,

sorrowful at my heartbreak cost,

seeming their life has ran so cold.

You say redemption is Your work,

needing Light in the darkness I lurk,

As David, I learn to duck the spear.

Be my strength to love when I want to hate,

let forgiveness come and never be so late,

as my heart spills these pain filled tears.

Restless Night

A lonely restless night, oh God,

So much has been left unsaid.

The hurt piles up in my heart,

Playing the games inside my head.

I'm so tired, tired of the way things are,

my eyes grow heavy into the night.

With each heartbeat I cry vengeance,

yet in my depths You shine The Light.

Can I let go of the struggle inside,

when in my wound blood still seeps?

Unforgivenness you keep me awake fitfully,

tonight I want to go to sleep.

"I forgive you"

Open Vacancy

Once an occupied dwelling,

now only a vacant space.

The sounds of loneliness fill,

as the tenant moves from this place.

Now this place is desolate,

as empty as barren land.

Dry as the driest desert,

with dissipated sands.

There is no disguising the void,

not a vapor of substance at best.

Only yearning to be filled again,

with the essence of the one who left.

What a surprising anticlimax,

truly the loneliness agency.

Where the sign now lights,

"OPEN VACANCY".